17 June 2007
Major Pierre Charles L'Enfant
6 feet from the north line of Gen. Sheridan's lot
Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia 22211
RE: Your Odious City Plan for Washington, DC
attn: Major L'Enfant:
The mere fact that I feel compelled to pen this missive incites me almost as much as your actual offense, and believe me, sir, when I tell you that my level of indignation is both uplifted and upraised. Your reckless and wasteful treatment of this, the capital of the United States of America, is the equivalent of treason. You were given the opportunity to create a grand symbol out of your city plan, and instead your gratuitous doodle has become a mar upon your record and the archetype for action without common sense.
In, it appears, an attempt to further my fury, you then entreated the legal system, of the government that your construction so effectively scorned mind you, to give you economic acclimation for your folly to the tune of 95,500 American dollars. Your actions show you to be the most vile of villains, and if you thought for a second that you would be able to suck off our state while secretly building a city so depraved in its planning that it could have easily been drawn up by a fourth-grader with a behavior disorder then you, sir, deserve no better than the poverty that was your succulent reward. Please do not consider your reputation secure in death; I simply will not stand for the hubris.
Condescendingly Yours,
/s/
Vincent Saint-Simon